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OFFICIAL PUBLIC SERVICES PORTAL · FORM FORM-REM-004
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DECLASSIFIED CIVILIAN RELIEF

Ladder Avoidance Certification

FORM CODE: FORM-REM-004 · CLASSIFICATION: Bad Luck Remediators

STATUTORY BENEFIT SPECIFICATION:

"Protects against walking under ladders by recommending walking around them."

AUTHENTICATED FORTUNE COOKIE SLIP:

"Walking around obstacles prevents blunt-force trauma."

LUCKY NUMBERS: 10 · 20 · 30 · 40 · 50
CLERK #404 ADMINISTRATIVE REMARK:

"Physics and superstition agree: do not walk beneath painters."

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DEPARTMENT OF UNFORTUNATE AFFAIRS · BAD LUCK DEPOSIT CENTER
Operating under Statutory Authority of Directive 1927 / Revised 2003 · Fictional Bureaucracy.