DEPARTMENT OF UNFORTUNATE AFFAIRS
OFFICIAL PUBLIC SERVICES PORTAL · FORM FORM-AWARD-004
DECLASSIFIED CIVILIAN RELIEF

Most Likely to Need a Refund

FORM CODE: FORM-AWARD-004 · CLASSIFICATION: Special Agency Rewards

STATUTORY BENEFIT SPECIFICATION:

"Honors exceptional consistency in experiencing inconvenience."

AUTHENTICATED FORTUNE COOKIE SLIP:

"A refund is warranted. A refund is impossible."

LUCKY NUMBERS: 50 · 25 · 10 · 5 · 0
CLERK #404 ADMINISTRATIVE REMARK:

"We voted unanimously. Your claim was the most tragic we ignored all week."

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