DEPARTMENT OF UNFORTUNATE AFFAIRS
OFFICIAL PUBLIC SERVICES PORTAL · FORM FORM-AWARD-003
DECLASSIFIED CIVILIAN RELIEF

Certificate of Surviving Today

FORM CODE: FORM-AWARD-003 · CLASSIFICATION: Special Agency Rewards

STATUTORY BENEFIT SPECIFICATION:

"Recognizes the bearer for successfully reaching the time of issuance."

AUTHENTICATED FORTUNE COOKIE SLIP:

"You made it to now. The rest of today is unchartered territory."

LUCKY NUMBERS: 24 · 7 · 365 · 1 · 404
CLERK #404 ADMINISTRATIVE REMARK:

"Against all statistical odds, your biological functions continue."

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